|My awesome hubby and gorgeous stepdaughter|
New Year’s Day: My hubby is sleeping late and the house is unusually quiet. All the holiday guests are gone, although the pealing of their laughter lingers in my ears. But right now the only sound is my cat snoring peacefully. I love solitude, because God is so real to me when there is no noise, no distraction….only His Presence, filling me with joy.
|Mr. Beautiful’s Beautiful Nap|
These last months have brought new challenges for my husband and myself because of his serious health problem. I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t felt desperate at times. I’ve even felt despondent. Despondent and hopeless. I can’t deny it, and I won’t. He no longer can drive a car. He can’t read most of the labels at the grocery story, often can’t recognize the faces of our friends and family. He has great difficulty with the most mundane tasks and no longer reads for pleasure.
My husband’s vision severely deteriorated on a Sunday morning, to the point that he could barely see. The next day we were in the eye specialist’s office. I sat alone in the waiting room for several hours, crying and praying desperately that God would heal him, that there would be a miracle. Have you ever prayed that way? I cried out to the Lord! It was a please, please, please God! kind of a prayer…. Not necessarily a prayer of faith and trust~more a prayer born of fear. As I sat weeping, God spoke to me in a very clear voice. He said,
“Praise me, worship me! Remember who I am! I am your Heavenly Father and I want the best for you.”
I opened my Bible to Psalm 103 and began to read that chapter over and over:
Along with the Psalmist, King David, I began to praise God…..That praise began to saturate my mind, my heart and my soul. I became calm and relaxed. My focus shifted to all of the magnificent gifts that He has given me. As I recited this poetic chapter over and over I was struck by His generosity, His grace, His goodness! All of the wonders that He’s placed in my life flooded my thoughts.
Magnificent Father, Worthy of all Praise and Glory! He filled that waiting room with His Presence.
Then He reminded me:
Once I began to focus on the Word of God and listen to God, I felt a great peace. Although the situation is virtually unchanged, I accept that God is in control. I don’t speak these words lightly; my husband is facing a serious health problem that is somewhat improved, but not completely healed.
I’m not going to tell you that I can blissfully skip through life with a smile on my face all the time…I have moments of great sadness and I grieve for his loss of vision. But I believe in God and trust His healing power. We’re exercising our faith in God~in His Sovereign will and plan for our lives. Whatever happens will only bring us closer to Him ~ if we trust in Him, if we praise Him and wait.
And I’m so thankful for every precious gift that God has given me! I focus on those gifts every day.
Here are a few that come to mind right now:
|My Precious Granddaughter|
My husband, who doesn’t know the meaning of self pity…
My granddaughter Brenna, five years old, with a cloud of fluffy hair, tiny slender hands, and a dimple in her chin…
My stepdaughter Lauren~who has faced more suffering in her life than anyone should ~ yet who has learned how to step out of the mire, claim her future, and move on…
My gracious loving family…
My cats, who remind me that any problem can be solved by a nap..
My friends, who trust me enough to confide their deepest hurts, knowing how deeply I love them..
These are only a few of the gifts that I’m counting today.
Will you count your gifts?
Take time every day to name the gifts that God has showered on you.
Write one down every day, and put it in a jar in your kitchen.
Pray diligently and immerse yourself in the Word of God when you are struggling.
Memorize the Word of God.
Talk to a friend.
“And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:7