I’ve loved you so long ~ fiercely, unashamedly, and with total abandon. Without reserve, with all that I am.

You captured my heart the day you were born. I loved the way you laughed, bounced up and down in your bed, and made the springs squeak. I watched you run down the hall with a sagging diaper and a smile on your face. I watched you taking little baby steps in the back yard, feasting on dirt and wearing a gleeful muddy mustache.

Your tiny hands were fallen stars from heaven ~ busy little stars decorated with frogs and rocks and all those little boy treasures….oh, how I wanted you to be a toddler forever!

Then I loved you when you were a little boy who smelled the way little boys smell after playing outdoors…except for your hair, which never ceased to smell of heaven. (And still does.)

Pride welled up when I watched you soar across the stage on roller skates in your kindergarten play. Oh yes, and I was there to see you hop from the fence onto the horse’s back to fly around the pasture with gleeful abandon. And when you dropped the phone out of the tree house just to see if it would break. And when you stood on a ladder to dunk the basketball so you could video tape yourself…

It was my joy to watch you become a skilled musician ~ especially when you played just for me alone. And I still laugh when I think of the way you lined up your stuffed animals and video taped them as a rock band ~ wildly moving them around with their home made cardboard instruments.

Oh my goodness!

Your art! Your music! Your sense of humor! Who was ever more gifted than you?

Everything you drew, or wrote, or played, or sang; every word you spoke, every move you made ~ became a cherished treasure that I tucked secretly away, praying I’d never forget a single detail. Comfort food for the soul, restoration for an overwhelmed mom. Healing memories that remind me that I wasn’t such a bad mom after all. And that those weren’t just good times, they really were the best of times. 

What a thrill to see all the promise, all the gifts, all the qualities that would make you a success in life. I saw the beauty in your gifted soul. I saw the poet, the artist, the musician. And today you are exactly the man I expected you would be.

You’re much older now, of course. Years have come and gone. But even today when I look at you I still see the promise of a happy little boy who became a fine man, a greater treasure still. And you’ve pointed me to God and helped me learn what true love is. 

Thanks to being your mom I’ve gained a small glimpse into the heart of God ~ Who sees only the best in each and every one of us. Who thrills to the promise that He’s built into each soul ~ the promise of a successful future and a life dedicated to His glory. Who anticipates our successes. Who aches when we hurt, Who knows when we fall, Who’s there to pick us up, and Who never leaves us. Who yearns with every fiber of His being for us to follow Him and find the fulfillment that He has purposed for each of us. And who always see us as His beloved children, just as I see my son ~ forever my baby.