This post was inspired by my delightful friend Camille Handley, who had a way of summing it all up with one phrase: “So this is what it is..”

As co-workers Camille and I indulged in many philosophical conversations over the years. And rightfully so, because in our profession there was plenty of competition, stress, and surprise. We were in medical sales, a business that is constantly evolving and changing.

I remember a particular time when our company was sold, and we all were required to re-apply for our positions. 

There was abundant discussion regarding the uncertain future. After I’d vented, ranted, and generally said all that I could regarding the matter, she’d calmly respond: “So this is what it is….” She would then proceed to simply state the bottom line. She knew how to look past the emotion and bring all the raw edges together to summarize our dilemma. She had a very calm, clear “meta-level” perspective ~ in other words, she always pointed to the big picture.

I, on the other hand, was busy wringing my hands over the issue. As it turned out, I was offered a position, she wasn’t. Never one to be defeated, she immediately found another position suitable to her immense talents and abilities. And I never forgot her comment….”So this is what it is….”

As we climb upward toward the heights of relationship with Him, God brings us along rocky paths of change, uncertainty, learning and discipline. We may be tempted to wring our hands and indulge in worrisome speculation. But as the path grows more challenging, He desires to become our focus, our Source of strength, a more precious and real Presence than ever before. He wants to be the first face we seek, the first shoulder upon which we fall…

“Child of my love lean hard, And let me feel the pressure of thy care;

I know thy burden, child. I shaped it;

Poised it in Mine own hand; made no proportion

In its weight to thine unaided strength,

For even as I laid it on I said,

‘I shall be near, and while she leans on Me,

This burden shall be Mine, not hers;

So shall I keep My child within the circling arms

Of mine own love.’ Here lay it down, nor fear

To impose it on a shoulder which upholds

The government of worlds. Yet closer come:

Thou art not near enough. I would embrace thy care;

So I might feel My child reposing on My breast.

Thou lovest Me? I knew it. Doubt not then;

But loving Me, lean hard.” ~ From STREAMS IN THE DESERT

Losing beloved family members and friends over the last two years, watching my husband struggle with waning eyesight…There’s been a new depth of pain and sadness I’d not known. However, there’s also new insight, new understanding…Dark days. Long nights. I’ll admit to that! But sleepless nights have brought welcome illumination ~ a dear, bright Light. How would I know that bright Light without the darkness?

And it seems as though God is entering every hidden room of my heart and shining His light into some very dark corners of my soul. He’s brought me greater clarity about myself: secret sins that needed confessing and forsaking. Dark corners that need to be brought to light and cleared of debris…I’m seeing the ‘big picture’ much better.  And this is my prayer:

“Lord, as You will! May Your will be done in my life. Whatever is pleasing to You, Father, whatever brings the greatest glory to Your Name, I fully accept.

Please continue to shine Your loving light on all that is hidden in my heart~the secret sin. Yes, Lord, shine Your light everywhere, because You’re welcome in my heart; I bow to You, I honor You, I want to be a fit vessel for Your kingdom. 

As for my future, I am determined to simply trust and obey.  And I can leave all worries and fears in Your hand while abiding under the shadow of Your wing.”

I must once more thank my friend for reminding me to take a step back and see God’s “big picture.”  She knew how to do that! And thank you, God, for friends who point me in the right direction! May we each be willing to trust and obey while He unveils His plan in His own time!